A comic about life, love, death, and sex, in about three colors.
Gibbons: nature's undisputedmasters of brachiation... That is, until I humbly evolved. By inverting my posture, increasedblood flow to the brain swells mygenius to near godlike omniscience. Ah, but now you'll never beable to wear a hat withoutit falling off. Cute girls willlaugh at you. But hey, bestof luck, my hairless cousin.

Walking Tall

2007-10-01

You have no idea how long I have been waiting to use the word brachiation in a comic! The largely visual medium just doesn’t present all that many opportunities to use obscure zoological vocabulary. But it should, damn it. It should.

I spent a great deal of my childhood upside down. I used to climb into bed, roll up into a hand stand (using the wall for support), and stay that way for hours at a time, thinking. Of what, I can’t remember.

At some point in grammar school, I removed my closet door from its frame and installed a chin-up bar. One night I decided to sleep upside down, suspended from the bar. As a precaution, I laid my mattress out underneath so that in the event my legs gave way, I wouldn’t end up as paralyzed had I hit the hard floor. Anyway, I fell asleep, remained in place, and woke up the next morning unable to feel my legs. Evidently the blood flow was severely restricted. Oops.

If you plan on someday being my rich benefactor, take note: My dream, my ONE if-I-could-do-anything dream, is to spend a day hanging out in the ape habitats at a zoo, jumping from hammock to hammock, swinging from ropes, grooming grateful furry companions, and making faces at tourists through the glass. AH! How much fun that would be!

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