A comic about life, love, death, and gibberish, in about three colors.
You shouldn't smoke. It's bad for you. Are you serious? Ug.Listen, kid, smoking isgreat. The positiveconsequences greatlyoutweigh the so-calledbadness you speak of. YOU LITTLE TURD!WHAT THE HELL ISWRONG WITH YOU?!SHE'S ONLY EIGHT FORCHRIST'S SAKE! HOW DARE YOU... Asdfjkl...

Thank You For Smoking


OK, so by now you’ve all probably figured out that there are three things worth living for: coffee, cigarettes, and sex.

And you’ve probably figured out that I’m not necessarily someone you’d want to hire to be a clown at your kid’s birthday party.

I can live with that.

And happily, provided I have plenty of coffee, cigarettes, and sex.

Life is good.

Children are not.

I was tossing around an alternate set of captions for this strip, having to do with getting evicted from a little girl’s birthday party. “This is a private function, mister.” I thought it was funny, but my journalistic integrity wouldn’t allow me to perpetrate a fraud on the court. I have never been evicted from a little girl’s birthday party. But I have been beaten up by an angry parent for being a bad influence.

This is life, ladies and gentlemen. Three color, sexy life.

Please rotate your tiny device.