Change of Habit

As a kid, I remember seeing kids slightly older than myself sporting disconnected sideburns like they were hot shit on a silver platter. They didn't do it because it looked cool. They did it because they could.

Those kids were stupid. I vowed never to grow sideburns.

So as soon as puberty allowed, I grew them. But I'm not like those other kids. I'm cool. And I've kept them ever since.