First, I'd like to begin with a digression on the visual aspect of the comic. At first appearance, my ass seems to get bigger from panel to panel. This is an illusion; I have never had an ass. In reality, this is merely the result of my changing posture, but with just three colors, depth is poorly translated.
OK. Digression over.
It is true. I never learned cursive.
I moved halfway through the third grade. My original district was going to teach it, and my new district had already taught it. Good ol' public schools. I fell through the cracks.
Throughout grammar school, teachers required all assignments be written in cursive or typed. This loophole existed because Windows 3.x had yet to come onto the scene. Type was done through dumb terminal Word Perfect or mechanical typewriters.
Ironically, it was my script illiteracy that pushed me toward a love affair with command prompt computing. Had I learned to sign my name, this site probably wouldn't exist.