Descent of Man

Really, I've always been more of a sideburns person. But having just quit my real job, I figured what the hell?, and took a vacation from the tedious task of shaving.

Truth be told, I have never had the patience to grow a beard. I can never quite get past the Don Johnson stage.

I-T-C-H-Y.

To say nothing of the displeasure of having to kiss a bearded face. Really, I did it for womankind, most of whom are currently lined up around the block, waiting for the opportunity to kiss me.

Besides, I realized it isn't the beard that makes the man, but his hat.