Once upon a time, I was a multimedia and merchandising manager for Borders. I was, of course, feared, respected, and adored in equal amounts by all and sundry. Enter Tina, a goofy girl from an off-and-on rich family and part-time bookseller.

I have this thing where I talk, and people listen, but don't really listen. I like to think of it as pretentious charm. Every once in a while it works. Tina decided she wanted to be like me, or be me, I never did figure out which. I took her under my wing as my second student and taught her the ways of Josh.

She was my worst student.

That was probably for the best. She went to university, majoring in journalism, and spent a semester as an exchange student in Paris. She finished school, despite the fact it was in Nowhere, Pennsylvania, and now she's on course to actually be something.

Don't be fooled, waitressing, like veganism, is only a temporary reprieve from reality. She'll be just fine.