The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things

Everyone knows a cute girl who can't appreciate the splendors of Italian horror is useless. If anyone says differently, they're a liar.

In fact, gentlemen (and lesbians), if you really wanna make an impression, light some candles, pour some wine, and put on your original pressing of Goblin's Roller. You're guaranteed to win a girl's heart that way.

Sisly was an Italian horror virgin, well, in a manner of speaking. She loves horror movies but was only familiar with the myriad remakes and watered down Hollywood flicks; she hadn't been introduced to the good stuff until we met.

I remember it as if it was only yesterday… We started with Deep Red, and when she noticed the killer's reflection in the mirror, I knew I was in love.

Long after we split, she called to tell me she was at a party and some indie douchebag was wearing a Cannibal Holocaust shirt. The design was from taken from the Chilean lobby poster, Holocausto caní­bal. She recognized it instantly and struck up a conversation (discovering in the process he knew nothing). I couldn't have been prouder.

But the question remains: would cute sandwich girl appreciate Italian horror? I wonder…

And have you ever noticed how cute Daria Nicolodi was circa 1975?