Danger Zone 2

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, you never know when you might need a really embarrassing song. Kenny Loggins would be the perfect way to sabotage an enemy's wedding (or funeral). And being a promotional copy, it was free.

Flash forward to present day: All of my CDs have been ripped to a harddrive (in lossless .flac format… up yours iPod!) for quick access. Unfortunately the 35 "essential" tracks, each painful and abrasive in the way only Kenny Loggins can be, account for 0.2% of my library, meaning on average one out of every 500 tracks I listen to will be vomited by that pompous, hirsute yodeller.

People ask me, "Why not delete them?" But I'm a completist! I can't simply delete something obnoxious because it simplifies things! Geez!

People then roll their eyes and ask, "Why not hit the next button?" I could do that, sure, but how can I be expected to sit on edge, always fearful and fretting the next track could be Return to Pooh Corner?! I suppose if I were an octopus I could afford to set a hand aside to control the music, but I'm a man, damn it, not an octopus.

What it comes down to is this: I have a right to listen to my music unmolested. Get your fucking tongue out of my ear, Kenny.