I’m not going to talk about the sudden introduction of partial nudity, if that’s what you were thinking. The label says “Casual nudity.” It would hardly be casual if I expounded on it.
I’ve addressed fuzziness and zombies elsewhere, so I suppose I should just continue my rant on birds.
What makes penguins special, you ask? Well, it was careless of me to mention penguins without any qualifications. The polar variety, being located at the poles, have several key adaptations that make them rise above their amoral counterparts.
First and foremost, they are fat and fuzzy. This keeps them warm and adorable.
Instead of flying like their jerk kin, they waddle. This enhances their adorability in the same way a chimpanzee dressed as a cowboy is more adorable than a chimpanzee not dressed as a cowboy.
Presumably the inhospitable environment in which penguins live prevents their infestation with parasites. Wikipedia doesn’t explicitly state one way or the other whether this is the case, but it is a logical inference, I think.
So in conclusion, I hate birds, except penguins living at the poles.