A comic about life, love, death, and dogs, in about three colors.
Well The Ark was huge! We're talking billions of animals,you realize. Their food. Climatecontrolled containment. On aboat. Made of wood. It would have been, like,the size of this whole field! It's like trying to reasonwith an apricot.

Bite Size

2009-08-21

With the help of Google Maps, I made a generously rounded calculation of the size of the dogpark field in question. It is roughly 5000 square meters. Now, if we are to conservatively assume one billion animals aboard vessel Noah, and also that they are not stacked on top of each other toward the heavens, that means each was required to live (for forty days and forty nights) on an area about .005 square millimeters.

Which is fine if you’re a sea monkey.

Or is it?

Actually, grown sea monkeys are between 10 and 20 square millimeters in size, so Noah couldn’t have fit a billion on his dogpark-sized boat without stacking them.

OK, so the apricot has no concept of space, or at least no concept of a billion. It’s hard to imagine. But at least fucking try! Let’s see… you know what a pixel is, right? It’s a single dot on your screen. Most of you have screen resolutions of 1024×768, meaning at any given time your monitor has 786,432 pixels on it (that’s less than a billion). Now if you were to stand in front of a mound of 1271 monitors of the same size you’d be staring at a billion pixels.

But seriously, how can anyone believe this nonsense? An ark large enough to house everything would displace so much water it would itself be responsible for a global flood. Haha.

Please rotate your tiny device.