It's true. I don't like birds. My mom would say the seeds were planted when I was little, when for whatever reason I was unable to walk outdoors without getting shit on. But really I'm not sure.
They are deceptive, birds. Like a heroin chic model or the odd attractive courtesan, they are pretty and graceful. At a glance. But beneath their tarred plumage exists a callous, scaly reptile with toxic feces playing host to parasites and disease.
Penguins are kinda cool, though.