A comic about life, love, death, and collectibles, in about three colors.
So apparently I cannot paymy taxes electronically untilthe IRS verifies my bankinginformation. To that end, they sent methis form, which I've alreadyfilled out, that just requiresyour stamp to show that Iam, in fact, your customer. Sorry, we don't do that. You don't comply with requestsfrom the Internal Revenue Service? No. ... At Bank of America.

The Paper Chase 1

2011-08-04

I am a fairly cynical person, yet even I was shocked by how poorly every aspect of the debt ceiling debacle in Washington has been getting handled these past few months.

But I’m not just here to complain. I have a solution: Anarchy.

OK, I have another solution: Take my goddamn money when I try to pay my taxes!

Everyone knows that calculating the amount of taxes owed can be a pain in the ass, but after that, paying the taxes should be easy, right? You’d think the government would want my money, that it wouldn’t require weeks and weeks of ordeal after ordeal, just to get my money to the IRS.

Evidently my money isn’t good enough.

Anyhoo, once upon a time, my business checking account was held by an evil one-eyed troll we’ll call Bank of America. And despite it being a “checking” account, I didn’t actually have any physical checks. But that shouldn’t have been a problem as this story takes place in 2011, not 1980.

Indeed, in this age of high technology, the IRS had a robust Electronic Federal Tax Payment System! Unfortunately I was unable to register for the service because they couldn’t verify my banking information. To fix this, they sent me a physical letter with a small form to confirm my name and account details, and a blank square to receive a stamp from my financial institution to make it all official.

So bright-eyed and hopeful did I travel to the evil snaggle-toothed troll. I explained the situation with a smile and handed the form to a clerk. She in turn gave it to her manager, who in turn told me they wouldn’t be able to assist me as it is against the policy of Bank of America to place ink upon a third-party form, like for example, one from the Government of America.

Fuckers.

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