Eating is such a waste of time. I love food and all, don't get me wrong, but wouldn't it be great to replace everything gastronomical with photosynthesizing bacteria? It would open us up to a whole new, productive existenZ!
If I was a wishing tree…
No more breaking from weeklong escapades of screaming monkey sex. No more lost time on the clock for mandatory meal breaks. No more grocery shopping! ARGH!
It would be wonderful.
But, evidently, science can't yet achieve such miracles. In the meantime, I've consolidated the rituals, adapting a camel-like system wherein I eat massive quantities of food in a single sitting.
That's how our ancestors did it. It's the natural way.
When I'm done adding this strip, I plan to sit down and eat an XL pizza while watching Rambo: First Blood Part II. Just like our furry ancestors would have done.