First came the cockroaches, annoying, but easily foiled with a bit of caulk and rubber tubing and duct tape.
Then came the crickets, chirpy, atomic monsters capable of teleportation. Only with the forging of a delicate alliance between man, dog, and spider was this scourge finally eliminated.
And now? Ants. Lots and lots and lots and lots of little, pointless ants. Strangely, their main faction seems centered around the bathtub, the one place in the apartment unquestionably devoid of cookie crumbs.